Short Tempered

I am extremely short tempered today! It started yesterday at lunch. It was like a switch flipped and all the sudden I was angry. It’s frustrating. I went ahead and took my pill this morning, even though I’ve been enjoying the lack of side effects this weekend. Hopefully that will mellow me out. 

I do have new pens today. And I should get a present from L sometime really soon. And there’s the gym today, and J is coming over tomorrow. I should have her bring her baby, so our babies can play. Teacup is walking everywhere and likes other babies. 

Okay, since my blog is primarily about my stomach, here’s what I’m eating today:

B: Hot chocolate

S: Yogurt with granola

L: BBQ chicken and spaghetti squash (leftover from Ruby Tuesday’s the other night)

S: Peas and hummus

D:?? Whatever my mother-in-law makes OR leftover salad from Friday’s yesterday. It’s not that yummy, but it’s food. 

 

Grr. For now, I’m off. I have a REALLY annoying child I need to handle. 

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This is what I like to do

This is my food routine. I like when I stick to it. It’s comforting, fills me up, and makes me feel like I’ve done a good job.

Breakfast: protein shake. Lately I’ve been loving on some Svelte cappuccino shakes I buy for too much money apiece at Walmart. 

Snack (about an hour and a half after my shake): yogurt. I SHOULD eat the 100 calorie greek yogurts or even the 140 calorie ones that taste better, but I really, really enjoy the 170-190 calorie ones with chocolate or granola in them. 

Lunch: leftovers from the dinner before. Today it was salad. 

Snack: something high-protein when I get home. 

Dinner: something yummy I made up or cooked off Pinterest

Snack: leftovers or something else high protein

Hot drink to end the night. I really, really need to mix up some more hot chocolate, because I was loving that while I had it, but now it’s gone. 

 

My problem is that I do so well with the mornings when I’m at school. But then it all falls apart on weekends and breaks. 

Some good things about my day (and one concern)

Let’s get the concern out of the way first. I am DIZZY. When I stand up, when I sit, when I walk… I’m so dizzy I feel like I’m going to fall down. NOT fun at all! I emailed the doctor and sought advice online. We’ll see. 

Now the good. 

Today, I was complimented up and down all day! It felt SO good. One of my students told me I looked like a person from Paris. When I asked if that meant I looked stylish, he gave a very enthusiastic yes. I guess my new thick bangs, my scarf, and my ruffly sleeves make me look like a model! 😉

Also, J, who frequently says I look great, went on and on about it today. That felt good. And the school nurse, who I saw in the hall and later went to when I was dizzy, just kept saying “Wow! You look so great!”

Part of me is the tinsiest bit hurt when people say that, because I know it implies that I looked REALLY BAD 6 months ago. But really, I really like hearing how great I look. A lot of times, when I get focused on the fact that the scale hasn’t moved in days or my shirts all seem a little tight just above my pants, I don’t see it. I see the flabby arms, the fact that my neck now looks a little old, the fact that there’s still fat above my belly button and that my skin is awfully loose at the bottom of my stomach. But really, I AM looking good. I mean, 6 months ago I weighed EIGHTY-FIVE pounds more than I do now! I could never go to the gym for an hour. I got winded on the way to my classroom in the morning. I was a size 24. I had over 100 pounds to lose. 6 Months ago, I was going to be fat forever. 

But now? The gym is only exhausting because it means leaving the house on a cold day. I can walk for pretty much as long as I want. I can go back and forth between my car and classroom with all of my heavy stuff and still carry on a conversation. I own and wear 2 pairs of size 14 pants (and feel a little small for some of my 16s!) I’ve lost inches – and not just 1 or 2, but 8 or 10! I’m within 40 pounds of being where I set my high goal. In 38 more pounds, I will feel like I’m a “normal” sized adult. I’ll feel like I could tell people my weight. 

And then??

Everything I lose after that will be like a present. I don’t know if it will happen this way, but I imagine that the scale will look different after 150. I imagine not stressing if I don’t lose weight, but being thrilled if I do!

And clothes? If I could get down another full size, I’d have SO many clothes. I mean a HUGE closet-full. My best friend’s mother gave me bags upon bags of clothes. I sorted out what I liked and it was a ton. She has excellent taste and cute, cute clothes. I’ll have so many cute pants and dresses, shirts, skirts, shorts… Add that to the ones my best friend gave me and I’ll be set for life. It’ll be like the world’s best shopping trip!

Just one more good size. Maybe 1 1/2!

What is that – 20 pounds? I bet I can get there by March. Maybe even sooner. 

Tonight, we’re eating chicken with avocado tzitziki sauce. So I guess I better go home and make that. And some asparagus. And possibly pasta for the others. 

And then the gym – treadmill and weights. 

Then, if all goes well, an hour or 2 of Minecraft and Dexter, half an hour of reading, and then one more early morning before it’s the weekend again. 

I’m pretty psyched, I have to admit.

I need to get back on track

The holidays were rough for me. I ate quite a bit of stuff I shouldn’t have. I’m not terribly upset with myself, because I know it’s not the end of the world, but I was pretty bad. Whenever there was stuff out I shouldn’t eat, I still ate it. I was good and limited myself. I didn’t eat a whole lot of sweet, sweet stuff, but I did have tortilla chips, popcorn, stuffing, crackers, even some jelly bellies. 

And it became a habit. 

So now, I need to get back on track. 

To do this, I’ve set little goals. Eat a meal without going back for one more bite (even of veggies). No food not on my plan (stuck to that one today!) Record all food consumed. Go to the gym once, twice, three times. No carby food for a day, two, a week. My idea is to reward myself each time I reach a mini goal (once, three times, a whole week). That way I can’t do great for a week and ruin it all in one day. But I still have bigger successes to look forward to. 

See, I KNOW that if I stay away from bad food and eating constantly that I WON’T want those things. No chips or crackers means I won’t want chips or crackers. And if I “stay clean” for several days, I’ll have a lot more willpower to continue eating right afterwards. 

It’ll also help that the holidays are over, I’m going back to school, and I won’t be home with a million snacks and parties to tempt me. 

So far, I’ve done well. Today, I ate twice and had a protein shake. I didn’t eat anything not allowed and I took some calcium, iron, vitamins, and my happy pill. If I get in a b12 by bedtime and finish my drink+mirilax (my new daily routine) then I’ll consider myself successful for today. Part of me wants to eat a few bites of my taco casserole (2 kinds of beans, lean hamburger, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, peppers), but I may not. After all, it’s nearly bedtime now. 

I’m feeling positive about all of this. Tomorrow’s lunch is packed. I have drinks and yogurt. I have a plan I can stick to. And tomorrow starts my gym routine again (3+times a week for an hour). I’m really pretty excited about that. And about starting to lose some weight again. 

Whoops – Bad Ava

I didn’t do well with food today. I decided early in the day that I wasn’t going to do well, and sure enough… I didn’t.

It was Teacup’s first birthday party. I was cooking and decorating from the moment I got up, so I didn’t do a shake or a healthy lunch. I did, however, eat little bits of cake and icing, pirouette cookies, crackers, meatballs, cheese, tortilla chips, an m&m or two, veggies and hummus… Some things that were okay and some that should really have been left alone. 

I actually don’t feel too bad about it. I know I’ll do better this week. I know it was just one day. I know I didn’t do anything that isn’t fixable. I know I won’t do it again anytime soon. 

I also know that once I have one tiny bite of something carby, I cannot control myself. And I know that I may very well pay for this in the morning. 

I really, really hope I don’t. 

Want rice with your Chinese food?

Let me first of all say that there seems to be very little in the way of Chinese food (takeout) that has any nutritional value at all. That said, I still wind up picking at it once in a while. Today it was because that was what was for dinner at my mom’s house. 

I love Chinese food. I especially crave the Sesame Chicken that’s breaded and coated in sweet and spicy sauce. Mmm. My mouth is watering even now. 

But of course, that’s off the menu. 

So, here’s what I did tonight: My dad and I ordered Shrimp and Broccoli – not all that healthy, but at least the sauce was savory instead of sugary and it had no rice or noodles or friend things in it. Then I took 1/4 cup of quinoa (already made in this great little container my mom found at Costco) and added a few pieces of shrimp and broccoli, some soy sauce, and a couple of veggies I stole out of the lo mein container. Mixed it all together and it was YUMMY! The quinoa was the right texture to pretend to be rice, especially with the soy sauce, but it had protein and fiber, which made it worth my time. The shrimp were tiny and I think I had 3. I had maybe a bite of veggies plus 2 small pieces of broccoli. All in all, I probably ate 1/3 cup of food for about 100 calories. Not bad in my book!

Mmmm!

I found a bag of frozen veggies:squash, zucchini, onions, peppers.  I cooked it with a little salt and pepper in a pan. Then i shredded some corned beef lunch meat and added that to the pan. Browned it a little and yum!

Pumpkin Bars – YUM!

I made these today, but need to make some adjustments. 

 

Layer 1: Almond flour, 1tbsp butter, egg white (about 2 tbsp), cinnamon, stevia

Bake at 350 for 10 minutes

(Needed more stevia and cinnamon and less baking)

 

Layer 2: Cream cheese, Stevia (needed more stevia)

 

Layer 3: Pumpkin, cinnamon, egg white, stevia

Bake whole thing for 30 minutes at 350

(needed to be a thinner layer, needed more stevia, needed nutmeg)

 

Overall, it was very good but not sweet enough. The baby and I liked it, though. 

Recipes

Asian Chicken Coleslaw

coleslaw mix

other chopped veggies

rotisserie chicken – shredded

1/2 c soy sauce

2 tbsp peanut butter

garlic

ginger

olive oil (drizzle)

 

Hummus Dip with Peppers

plain greek yogurt

hummus

peppers

 

Chicken Sausage Eggs

egg whites

chicken sausage

black beans

onion

 

Corned Beef Hash

corned beef

squash

onion

 

Asian Salad

lettuce

roasted almonds

edamame

asian dressing

 

 

Food

I need to find food for this week. Something NOT boring.

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