Some good things about my day (and one concern)

Let’s get the concern out of the way first. I am DIZZY. When I stand up, when I sit, when I walk… I’m so dizzy I feel like I’m going to fall down. NOT fun at all! I emailed the doctor and sought advice online. We’ll see. 

Now the good. 

Today, I was complimented up and down all day! It felt SO good. One of my students told me I looked like a person from Paris. When I asked if that meant I looked stylish, he gave a very enthusiastic yes. I guess my new thick bangs, my scarf, and my ruffly sleeves make me look like a model! 😉

Also, J, who frequently says I look great, went on and on about it today. That felt good. And the school nurse, who I saw in the hall and later went to when I was dizzy, just kept saying “Wow! You look so great!”

Part of me is the tinsiest bit hurt when people say that, because I know it implies that I looked REALLY BAD 6 months ago. But really, I really like hearing how great I look. A lot of times, when I get focused on the fact that the scale hasn’t moved in days or my shirts all seem a little tight just above my pants, I don’t see it. I see the flabby arms, the fact that my neck now looks a little old, the fact that there’s still fat above my belly button and that my skin is awfully loose at the bottom of my stomach. But really, I AM looking good. I mean, 6 months ago I weighed EIGHTY-FIVE pounds more than I do now! I could never go to the gym for an hour. I got winded on the way to my classroom in the morning. I was a size 24. I had over 100 pounds to lose. 6 Months ago, I was going to be fat forever. 

But now? The gym is only exhausting because it means leaving the house on a cold day. I can walk for pretty much as long as I want. I can go back and forth between my car and classroom with all of my heavy stuff and still carry on a conversation. I own and wear 2 pairs of size 14 pants (and feel a little small for some of my 16s!) I’ve lost inches – and not just 1 or 2, but 8 or 10! I’m within 40 pounds of being where I set my high goal. In 38 more pounds, I will feel like I’m a “normal” sized adult. I’ll feel like I could tell people my weight. 

And then??

Everything I lose after that will be like a present. I don’t know if it will happen this way, but I imagine that the scale will look different after 150. I imagine not stressing if I don’t lose weight, but being thrilled if I do!

And clothes? If I could get down another full size, I’d have SO many clothes. I mean a HUGE closet-full. My best friend’s mother gave me bags upon bags of clothes. I sorted out what I liked and it was a ton. She has excellent taste and cute, cute clothes. I’ll have so many cute pants and dresses, shirts, skirts, shorts… Add that to the ones my best friend gave me and I’ll be set for life. It’ll be like the world’s best shopping trip!

Just one more good size. Maybe 1 1/2!

What is that – 20 pounds? I bet I can get there by March. Maybe even sooner. 

Tonight, we’re eating chicken with avocado tzitziki sauce. So I guess I better go home and make that. And some asparagus. And possibly pasta for the others. 

And then the gym – treadmill and weights. 

Then, if all goes well, an hour or 2 of Minecraft and Dexter, half an hour of reading, and then one more early morning before it’s the weekend again. 

I’m pretty psyched, I have to admit.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. April
    Jan 19, 2014 @ 16:54:28

    Hope you are feeling better!!

    Reply

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